Winter Weekend at Home

The following interview is shared with permission from the family and Northerly.  This documentary session was taken in 2016, but the follow up interview in 2019. 

Heart & Home

Love can show itself in a multitude of ways, but for the Ferrazzano family, it’s best expressed in time spent together.

Lisa, an Italian instructor, freelance writer and yoga teacher, explains how the Madison home she shares with her husband Peter, a pediatric critical care doctor at American Family Children’s Hospital, and their three kids is the their most beloved place to be.

What’s a typical winter weekend like for you and your family?

Our typical winter weekend has evolved over time. When the kids were little, winter was the season of filling time. We scrambled to line up enough craft projects, picture books and walks around the block to fill the seemingly endless hours until bedtime. But as the kids got older, winter acquired a new luster, as it provided a welcome reprieve from the busyness of spring and fall sports. In recent years, winter has grown more complex along with the interests of our children, but it still remains a relatively simple time for us. We like to get outside — we’ll go skiing or trek to the neighborhood ice rink for a couple of hours — but we also savor leisurely mornings in PJs, making pancakes, playing board games and watching movies together by the fire. We go through a lot of firewood in our house!

We try to strike a good balance between adventure and relaxation in our family time. One of our most cherished traditions is playing music together. Our “family band” is a little rough around the edges, but we have fun.

What are your kids most into at these ages?

My oldest, while happy to be involved in volleyball and fencing, really craves downtime at home. Downtime for him has always meant Legos, although in recent years the building of Legos has evolved into making stop-motion videos with Legos. He loves playing drums and Fortnite — not necessarily in that order. My middle schooler — my Renaissance guy — loves art and cooking (almost) as much as he loves kicking a soccer ball. The two of us have a Friday night tradition of trying a new recipe together, which not only gives us the chance to spend quality time together, but also forces me to expand my increasingly stale cooking repertoire! Currently, my nine-year-old daughter is into drawing, singing and writing lyrics to songs she plays on her electric guitar. She transitions with agility between playing with her dolls and wrestling with her brothers.

There’s never enough time to do everything, so what do you prioritize as a family? What do you always make time for?

Our priority as a family has always been to carve out time for just the five of us. Since our extended families live far away, we spend much of our vacation time traveling and need to be very intentional about setting aside time for just us. Lake Superior has been a wonderful sanctuary and playground for us over the years, a place we go to reconnect and rejuvenate. But what we do together is often not as important as what we don’t do — we don’t do a lot of playdates on weekends, and we try to limit “dividing and conquering” as much as possible. We strive to keep kids’ activities to a healthy minimum. As the kids get older, protecting family time requires more and more effort — there are so many wonderful opportunities for kids of all ages, and it gets increasingly difficult to say “no.” But the payoff is having kids who genuinely enjoy being home and who value family time as much as we do.

Why do you choose to live and raise kids in Wisconsin? And how about Madison specifically?

We came to Madison from New York City for my husband’s job when our first child was two. Neither of us had envisioned settling in the Midwest, but when we first visited Madison we both felt like we had finally come home. We were charmed by Madison’s unique blend of small-town charm and urban sophistication. The natural beauty of Madison also drew us in, with its lakes and surrounding farmland. And with Lake Michigan, Lake Superior and the Northwoods all within driving distance, there are endless opportunities to explore the great outdoors. We try to camp in a different corner of Wisconsin every year, but there is still so much beauty to discover!

How long have you lived in your home? What do you want it to feel like for you and your kids?

We moved to our current home about two years ago, after having lived in our first house for over ten years. We love our neighborhood, so we only moved about a mile away. What I like best about our current house is that it has more than one bathroom! I want our home to feel cozy, light-filled and welcoming. We try to create comfortable common spaces where the kids can hang out in close proximity to us, rather than sequestering themselves in their rooms. We like having everyone close.

How does your family celebrate Valentine’s Day?

For as long as I can remember, the kids have cut out giant colored hearts to display in our windows for Valentine’s Day. I am always sad to see the Christmas decorations and paper snowflakes go, but it helps to know that the red and purple hearts are soon to follow!

What are some of the ways your family shows love for each other?

We are a very demonstrative family, so we give plenty of hugs and say “I love you” a lot. We’re also big on communication and talking about how we feel (probably more than my kids would like!). One concrete way we show our love is by making thoughtful gifts for one another. For birthdays, the kids plan out what they are going to make weeks in advance and take pride in creating something special for their siblings. For the kids’ birthdays each year, I write a poem for them and keep it in a special book. These homemade gifts are often met with more enthusiasm than the store-bought ones.

What have you tried to teach your kids about love? 

We try to teach our kids that loving someone means genuinely wanting the best for them, even when envy rears its ugly head. When the temptation arises to cut down a sibling, for example, we remind our kids that building each other up elevates everyone in the family, and that the opposite is also true. We also emphasize the importance of forgiveness. As parents, we’re not afraid to say, “I’m sorry” to our kids, and we expect the same from them.

As your kids get older, is it the big moments or the everyday things that stick out most to you? What are the types of memories or experiences you cherish most?

For me, the question of big moments versus everyday events is less important than the question of presence. There are some landmark moments I remember vividly, like our family’s recent trip to Italy. But I also have visceral memories of simple things, like rocking my babies to sleep in the golden light of the afternoon, or of belting out my favorite song on the radio while driving the kids to swimming lessons. What intense memories like these have in common is my presence — the fact that I was completely relaxed and plugged in to my children at the time. These are the moments that stay with me, and the ones I crave.

Some of my most meaningful memories come from our family traditions, like the winter solstice. We celebrate the longest night of the year by lighting candles, reading poems, setting intentions for the year to come and sleeping by the fire. I love our winter solstice celebration because it embodies the closeness and coziness of our family, and is entirely our own.

What are some of the things you’re looking forward to in 2019?

It’s never too early to think about warm-weather vacations! This year we plan to explore Zion National Park on our way to visit grandparents in Nevada. And we always look forward to our annual summer trip out West to visit cousins and grandparents in Idaho. More locally, we look forward to our camping adventures with friends, exploring a new stretch of Lake Michigan and spending time with extended family in Northern Wisconsin. But we’re also excited to expand our horizons right here in Madison — finding new hiking trails, lengthening the distance of our family bike rides (now that everyone can keep up!) and maybe even getting the youngers on mountain bikes. And grilling and relaxing on the back deck sounds pretty good right now — if the snow ever melts!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

 

Lisa shared these thoughts after working with me the previous fall for an authentic outside session, just taking the dog for a walk:

Before Jen captured our family, I had been procrastinating having professional photographs of our family taken for almost 13 years (the entire lives of my children). I simply dreaded the hassle–the location scouting, the outfit picking, the grooming, the wrangling, and the trying to wear a smile for over an hour. But I couldn’t have been more pleasantly surprised with what a positive experience Jen made our photo shoot. It was actually FUN–and a family bonding experience as well. I loved how Jen’s presence felt like an organic part of our experience rather than an intrusion. Instead of acting like an external observer trying to force us into artificial situations, Jen simply turned us loose and worked her magic. As the kids ran, tossed the football, and chased the dog, Jen casually captured our genuine moments of fun and connection as a family. I was already thrilled with Jen’s work just from the sheer fact that she made the photo shoot feel relaxed and informal, but when I saw the proofs from the shoot I was blown away. I was so impressed by the quality of the photographs, and by Jen’s artistic eye. The photos express exactly what I love about our family, in vivid colors and gorgeous light that only a professional like Jen could capture. I highly recommend Jen Lucas Photography. Now that I know how amazing Jen’s work is, maybe I won’t wait so long between photo shoots!

xo, Jen

Beautifully Ordinary is a trademark of Jen Lucas Photography, LLC.