Four Generations
On the day Sarah called, the trees were long skeletal, the ground was frozen and frosted with snow, and the air had an angry bite when you drew it into your lungs. We talked of strong women, togetherness, being present with each other and with ourselves. Gathering in a digital, busy world.Noticing.That simple, yet sometimes challenging skill of just noticing. Not acting, not solving, not doing. Just noticing.And then she told me that on countless Saturdays, year in and year out, four generations of strong, intelligent, beautiful women gather in her space. Grandmother, mother, herself, her children. And it was time to document it.Several months later, when green saturated our world, I did just that. Let me show there was nourishment in every way.I leave you here with my view and Sarah's spectacularly beautiful story in her own words.
Living in this Light
When we gather there is something with us — it’s not dramatic to call it a reverence, a ritual of respect for these gifts we have; a recognition, however simple, however ordinary, of what we hold close. None of us are too young for it, or too old. My five-year-old practices pouring from the blue teapot. My two year old welcomes the attention of her great-grandmother spoon-feeding her oatmeal with the smile of the sun. It occurs to me that this may be the tenderest space in my life, a kind of ringing-around me that supports and sustains me, encloses and enfolds me, like a monastery wall.
Later we will move to the next room together, to sing or fold the baskets of laundry I never manage to disappear before these mornings or just talk. The children stay close, circling, sometimes jumping on our mini-trampoline shouting, “Watch me, Little Grammie! Watch me, Great Grammie!” as I marvel, in moments when I remember to, at how they open under this light — how love loosens and cracks us wide, how it both bolsters and emboldens us, saying simultaneously you are never alone and your possibilities are boundless. Isn’t there something unbelievably holy in this?
In her novel, The Gap of Time, a retelling of Shakespeare’s The Winter’s Tale, Jeannette Winterson writes, “Sometimes it doesn’t matter that there was any time before this time. Sometimes it doesn’t matter that it’s night or day or now or then. Sometimes where you are is enough. It’s not that time stops or that it hasn’t started. This is time. This caught moment opening onto a lifetime.”
I look at these women whose bodies I came from and these small girls whose bodies mine made and I see this ordinary Saturday morning, this circle of who we are together, this spinning of our lives. I see our wrinkles and our smiles and our hands. I see my place in this wheel of family and grace as if it is all illuminated just for me -- this caught moment opening onto a lifetime, so that I don't miss it, so that I am right here, right now, staying present, stirring the oatmeal, living in this light. --by Sarah Miller
xo,
Jen
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